True but thats because hes a fetus.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize