Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize