We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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