yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i black out too much to be "responsible"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
