I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
