do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
well I can't set my house on fire every night
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
