Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
