You really coming over, don't trick.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He better not be in your backpack
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
