it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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