used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
