dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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