I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
