Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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