What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize