I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
