THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His nipple licking is glorious
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