I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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