I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
