So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
