if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
3 2 1 whiskey
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
