It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
