Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
