My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
