I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
