Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize