Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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