one two three fourrrrnication!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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