I should be sponsored by Trojan
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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