In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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