is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
