She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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