Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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