Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My vagina is officially offended.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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