I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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