I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize