Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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