Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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