his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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