so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
a search helicopter?!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
