Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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