did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm just crazy horny about you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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