But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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