she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
