i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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