you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
