There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
