just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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