you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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