I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
