i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
