his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
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