when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
