what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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