can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
