Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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