i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
