You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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