ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
