i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
