dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize