he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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