Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
