He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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