Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I need a beard to bite.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
